


Tres Bien Ensemble

by luckywitch



Series: Happiness is a Warm Taser [3]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gift, Heavy on the Meddling, Light on the Romance, Matchmaking, Meddling, Minor Clint Barton/Darcy Lewis, Past Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Pre - A lot of things, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-22
Updated: 2012-02-22
Packaged: 2017-10-31 14:04:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/344852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckywitch/pseuds/luckywitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha likes to play her friends like a chess game. Lucky for them, she's using her powers for good. Even if Pepper doesn't quite agree with her methods, but heartily approves of her meddling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tres Bien Ensemble

**Author's Note:**

> As I was writing the next fic, I remembered that I wanted to write a story about Natasha giving Darcy a gift from Paris. Then, I disagreed with what I initially planned and the story won the plot argument.
> 
> I don't speak French. I studied Spanish, so if any of the French is wrong... I'm sorry, let me know, so I can fix and we all can blame Google Translate.
> 
> Natasha's French lines are translated and posted in the end notes. So you don't have to stop and search. I know I would. ;)
> 
> _p.s. A HUGE thank you to[lucdarling](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lucdarling/pseuds/lucdarling),[Morgan](http://archiveofourown.org/users/duckwhatduck/pseuds/Morgan), and Toril for correcting my French._

It’s two days after the strange incident of the mutant dog in the daytime when Natasha gets back from her covert operation in Paris and visits Darcy.

“Bonjour mon chou.” Natasha calls out to Darcy who is hunched over her desk, binding stacks of paper together.

Darcy stops her work to glare at whatever idiot is being positively annoying. When she sees it is Natasha, her frown grows even more.

"Quel est le problème? Tu n'aimes plus Tante Natasha? Oh, je vois! Tu es fachée que je n'ai pas pu aider avec les devoirs. Je suis désolée, mais ils avaient besoin de moi. C'est le boulot."

“Well the problème,” Darcy says in a passable French accent, “Is I’ve had to get all this report stuff together and I’ve had to wait for your paperwork from France, which is in a different time zone if you didn’t know!  After staying up all night to collate it, I’m finally almost finished with these damn things. Also, I have no idea what you’re saying. I don’t speak French.”

“Je sais que tu ne parles pas français. Je le fais pour t'embêter et ça marche,” replies Natasha with a knowing look.

“For Christ’s sake you’re Russian, you’re not even French,” exclaims Darcy, “C’mon!”

“C'est vrai, mais comprendre à peu près le français est une bonne chose dans ce boulot, parce qu'on ne sait pas quand ce sera utile.”

Darcy glares at the other woman, sighing, “I hate you.”

“Ne sois pas bête, tu m'aimes. Allons déjeuner, je suis sûre que ça te fera changer d'avis. Nous devrions mettre un peu de français dans ta vie. Peut-être que des crêpes ou une omelette au fromage feront l'affaire?”

“Ok, I understood about three words in that sentence and they were all food related so…Yes, to whatever your question was. I’m assuming lunch, unless I’m confusing one of the words with a sex act and then, I’m not consenting, without you explaining it clearly in English first.”

Natasha smirks, “Bien, je te verrai dans cinq minutes.”

 

* * *

 

Natasha takes her to a quiet, little café, about a ten minute walk from headquarters. The place is quaint, filled with natural light and overrun with plants.  The menu is located on the chalkboard on the main wall and it seems to be a variety of fresh sandwiches, soups and salads. There’s only one other couple seated and by the time they are seated, place their order, and have their drinks, the place is packed.

“How was Paris, then?” Darcy asks, biting the conversational bullet.

“Lovely, but I didn’t see much of the city. It was essential that I stayed in my hotel,” Natasha lies.

In fact, she had an amazing time. The mission was relatively easy one, but dealt with some extremely sensitive material. The whole thing resolved itself in two days, leaving the agent a couple of days in the City of Lights, where she proceeded to pick up some Christian Louboutins’ that Pepper custom ordered, as well as pick up a couple of pairs for herself, and managed to get a couple of new outfits all for future covert ops, of course.

Darcy tries, and fails, to look sympathetic. She knows Natasha’s job is harder as it involves life-threatening situations and occasionally killing someone, but being drooled on by a mutant dog and neck-deep in paperwork has led to wanting to the week to be over already. She’s ready to lie in bed, eat ice cream, and watch tv all weekend.

“Enough of my lackluster week, I brought you a present, since I have not been here to help you corral the ‘children,’ especially when the reports are due.” Natasha says, pulling a small white box out of nowhere.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Natasha is an avid chess fan. She enjoys the calculating strategies, the tactics, and having to anticipate her opponent. The pawns, bishops, and king speak a universal language better than any spoken word.

She often conducts her operations like a chess game: making sure to be three steps ahead, having a pawn in place, and most of all, directing her target’s focus one way as she attacks from another. She’s ready for the long game, but likes to throw off competitors by always having her first move be a bold one, which is why Darcy would now be getting a brand new emerald green satin corset, if she had her way.  

Pepper had protested over the video call, “See it her way Nat, if she doesn’t already know that you went out with Clint, she’ll find out eventually, and do you think that she is going to want to wear the lingerie that his ex gave her? It is a little unusual.”

“At most, she’ll be embarrassed for a while and then get over it,” Natasha responded, thinking over Darcy’s reaction.

_Darcy takes the gift bag from Natasha, the other woman’s eyes concentrated on her. Pulling out the white tissue paper and setting it aside, she reaches into the bag to feel soft, cool fabric, that her thumbs rubs lightly._

_‘Maybe it’s a scarf,’ Darcy will think. She unearths the fabric from the bag to discover a gorgeous, green, silk corset, which she will immediately stuff back into the bag and look around to see if any of the other tables saw. The other patrons will be caught up in their own conversations and enjoying their meals._

_“Natasha,” her voice coming out a bit screechy, “what the hell?”_

_She’s definitely blushing now, “I thought you were going to get me a little Eiffel Tower or a fake Hermes scarf, at most. Not,” her voice lowering to a whisper, “lingerie.”_

_“Would you have rather me have bought you a plastic Eiffel Tower?” Natasha will pointedly ask._

_“Well no, but I didn’t think you’d buy me this,” she says shaking the bag._

_“It was aesthetically pleasing, besides who knows, you may need that soon,” Natasha will say cryptically._

_“Unless you know something about Kyle in accounting that I don’t, because he’s the only one that’s been flirting with me, and he’s gay,” Darcy might respond._

_“The world works in mysterious ways.”_

_“Whatever you say U2,” she might say before rolling her eyes. “And thank you.”_

_“You’re welcome. Now tell me about the encounter with the three-headed dog, Clint’s version lacks details…”_

It’s not so bad, a little embarrassment and Natasha would nudge her into wearing it soon, but chess and relationships are not won with only grand plays.

“I see your point. I’ll get her some perfume instead,” she yielded.

“That happens to remind Darcy of Clint?” Pepper asked.

“Something like that,” she replied as an idea formed.

“I’m not sure whether to be creeped out or impressed that you know that information.”

Natasha responded straightforwardly, “I happen to know a couple of scents that each of the Avengers and related agents are partial to.”

“Oh my little meddler, what am I ever going to do with you?” Pepper huffed affectionately.

“You love my meddling. If I hadn’t meddled into your affairs, then where would we be?”

“Not having as nearly as much fun,” Pepper responded, pulling the bobby pins out of her hair, letting it fall down against her shoulders.

“Agreed,” responded Natasha as they both proceeded to have fun together.

 

* * *

* * *

 

“Are you friggin’ Mary Poppins or something? How do you do that?” Darcy questions as she unwraps the package.

“Ooo, Parisian perfume!” Darcy exclaims excitedly, opening the elongated glass bottle and taking a whiff. “Oh, it smells amazing! What kind is this?”

“A mixture of this and that and a spoonful of sugar,” Natasha replies sarcastically. “Before I had to depart, I did have enough time to make a few stops. It’s whatever you want to call it. I happen to be partial to Darcy’s Law, but if you want to call it Darcy No. 5 or Taser by Darcy, so be it.”

“It’s custom? Wow. Thanks, Natasha. From earlier, I don’t actually hate you,” she says, a little sheepishly.

“I know,” she replies, “Now put it away, because our food is about to be here, and you can test it after we finish.”

The food is placed in front of them as soon as Natasha finishes her sentence. Darcy puts away her new perfume and digs in to her sandwich.

“And you’re welcome,” Natasha says, “Now, I want to about this three-headed dog fiasco, Clint leaves out all the details…”

 

* * *

 

After lunch, outside the restaurant, Darcy applies the new fragrance along her pulse points, like Natasha instructs.

They head back to the S.H.I.E.L.D. and are saying their goodbyes in the lobby, when Clint walks past. Darcy gives him a little wave and heads back upstairs to her desk, while Natasha smirks and heads towards the basement.

He looks back and forth between them as they walk away, puzzlement clear on his face, before he gives up and shrugs.

‘Smells good in here,’ he thinks as he goes to meet Steve and drive up to the containment facility upstate where Fluffy is currently located.

 

* * *

 

A week later, Bruce brings back Darcy a ‘Keep Austin Weird’ shirt and she thinks it is pretty kick ass too.

**Author's Note:**

> Here is what Natasha says in English:  
> “Hello my little one"  
> “What is the problem? Do you not love your Aunt Natasha anymore? Oh, I know what the matter is! You are upset I could not help out with the work. I am sorry about that, but they needed me. That is the job."  
> “I know you do not speak French. I am doing it to annoy you and it is working”  
> “This is true, but it is good to have a working knowledge of French for any jobs that may arise"  
> "Stop being silly, you love me. Let us eat lunch and I'm sure this will change your mind. We should add a little French in your life. Maybe crepes or a cheese omelet will do."  
> “Good, I will see you in 5 minutes"


End file.
